Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
