I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
