Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
