you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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