As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
