i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize