But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
