DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
