Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
