I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
