I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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