You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
