The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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