Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
