just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
