I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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