Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize