FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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