I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize