Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I will pee on everything he values.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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