You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize