sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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