I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
