Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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