AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
