I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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