are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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