You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
