This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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