The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
