i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
