You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
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It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
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Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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