It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
