She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
