fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
