she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
