I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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