How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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