nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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