But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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