She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
