Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
