I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
