Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
