I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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