my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
