just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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