FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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