umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
