Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
