I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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