using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
