Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
