matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
