the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
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i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
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i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize