Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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