i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
