how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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