I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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