Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
