I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
