So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
