I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
