i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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